SMITE - Sun Wukong - Arena - Match 60

I feel like I am about to explode. My mind races at 300 miles an hour and I have no way to relieve it. World of Warcraft was an old out lite for my thoughts then I moved onto. Then I got into making my own game and then ect ect D&D was my last bastion of putting my thoughts into. I am having no luck with a job and I am about to just explode. I just am at a lose of what to do.

Regret

       This is a word many of us have face and some of us fight with on a constant struggle of what our heart feels. I have so much of it built up from the years that I feel it tears me apart some times. Most of my regret comes in the form of things I did not do. I regret never telling the first person I loved how I felt. She was roughly 3 years older then me at the time and I was only in maybe 3rd 4th grade. She moved away a few years later and to this day I regret so much about not ever telling her. She said the sweetest thing to me at a Newton Camp Candle light thing we did as well. I have considered telling her now but I fear there is little point now.
        But that is neither here nor there, The reason I write about regret is because it is heavy on my heart. I regret not being a better friend, I almost regret coming to where I am now because while I have great friends here. I miss so many people. I am living with friends but yet I feel so alone. It has become clear that it is hard for me to fit into this world. I am a computer geek, a gaming geek, a minor you tube personality and even though sure hundreds of people hear my voice, watch me do what ever I do. I feel like I am missing something. The babbling of a lunatic I claim this is if anyone says something about it. Perhaps I have went insane in my "old" age.

Weeeee sleep if for the weak...or the non-mentally disturbed.

So things have been pretty good today.... that said I have been awake 3 hours. Yeasterday was a bit more of a eh moment. I was apparently suppose to be at work at 1. Manager had to come get me. We stayed busy most of the day. I worked with the new girl named Brittney. She's kinda cute, lil mean but nothing wrong with that. She is also short as hell..... like standing on a stool cant reach the top of the cig rack short. But over all she seems like a pretty cool chika. Yeah also got a bit off in timing and didn't get all the side duties done so i am sure i am going to get bitched when i get to work. Oh well, not like our first shift gets all their crap done even a third of the time.
So the video of the day is Smite Funzies with Zeus

When things just feel good.

So rarely do I say this but I am quite happy right now with how things are going. My latest youtube video has went well for only being up a few hours. Furthermore the feedback is pretty good. I want to thank everyone who watched and Liked it. My editor has put alot of work into it. Everything is just fired up and going well. This is rather short but eh i got work todo.

Rift Storm Legion - Archon Guide Ability and Talent Over View

So just testing to see how this comes out and what not.

The little things.

So I finally have a Graphics guy to do my stuff for youtube and what not. He accepts no payment to yahoo's as payment so it works for me pretty good.

The Logo we went with. He made several different colors. So I am most pleased with it. I am also a part of N4gtv Network on youtube so things should be happening there sooner or later.

So it doesn't take much to make me happy or sad. I currently am being ignored by someone so its quite annoying to me with my weak emotional state. Also my K key keeps not pressing down even though there is nothing under it so annoyed about that as well. Today is my Friday so Off the next 2 days if things go like they are suppose to. The next rift video is done. We had some problems with me being lazy and the video being mostly about buffs so my editor was not so keen on alot of the video footage which I am totally okay with. Next one wont take as long I hope lol. 

So I started Drinking NOS the one that looks like a bottle of Nitro. It is surprisingly the first energy drink that actually does what it says for me besides redline which is a meth-heads legal version of the drug I swear. (Side note that crap is way to intense. Drank a whole bottle one time not knowing you were only suppose to drink half and man did I clean like a mofo. I scrubbed the subway i worked at's floor.) anyway It actually give me some focus so I get things done so, now to find a place to buy it cheaper as its like 3 bucks and that is just not a good amount for something I wouldn't mind drinking more of. 

Lets see what else has happened in the past few days. Started playing Eve again. Having fun with a few friends. Kingdom was attacked on Aegis so did some spying but since I am only playing passively it works out. Must say while there is alot of whining here and there I am really hoping the community can grow and work out. I am going to have to annoy the Admin about his new game cause I will be so advertising it if I find it worth my time. Sure its text based but don't kick it till you come in and see the community and have some fun. I just miss multis, I had some many personalities that I use to play around with that I really miss using. My other blog of Tats is just one of those.